Confidence didn’t come first.
What 20 Years in Business Taught Me...The Hard Way. (Part 1)
Lesson #1: Confidence Didn’t Come First... Action Did
Before I ever quit my job.
Before I ever believed this could work.
Before anyone knew my name.
I was just a shy guy in the club with a camera, borrowing confidence and figuring it out in real time.
Who I Was Before the Camera
Before photography, I wasn’t fearless.
I wasn’t outspoken.
I definitely wasn’t confident.
I was socially awkward.
I didn’t know how to approach women without overthinking everything I was about to say. I felt insecure around other men too. I grew up without a father in the household, didn’t play sports, and didn’t have the cultural shorthand most guys around me had. Conversations about basketball and football felt like a foreign language. I didn’t know how to jump in.
I didn’t know how to tie a tie until my mid-20s.
I didn’t know how to put together a suit.
I didn’t know how to carry myself in rooms where confidence seemed automatic.
It wasn’t that I felt unintelligent.
I knew I was perceptive.
I could read people.
I understood energy and personalities.
But socially? I didn’t know how to enter the conversation.
Public speaking wasn’t even a thought. The idea of standing in front of a crowd would’ve shut me down immediately. And when I eventually forced myself to do it years later, it was sweaty palms, shaky words, and a lot of internal cringe.
I wasn’t unintelligent.
I just didn’t know how to enter the conversation.
What the Camera Actually Gave Me
The camera didn’t make me confident.
It gave me permission.
Permission to approach people.
Permission to speak.
Permission to interact.
I didn’t have to figure out the perfect opening line. I could simply ask, “Do you want a photo?” At first, it felt awkward. Then people started saying yes. Then conversations started happening. Then people began coming up to me asking for photos.
The camera gave me a role.
It forced interaction.
It forced repetition.
It forced practice.
I met people I never would have spoken to otherwise; men, women, strangers, regulars, security, owners, VIPs. Photography became the gateway into conversations I would’ve avoided without it.
Borrowed Confidence vs. Earned Confidence
In the beginning, confidence was borrowed.
Pregaming before walking into the club.
Ordering drinks because I didn’t feel relaxed enough yet.
Letting the environment do some of the heavy lifting.
Alcohol wasn’t the source of confidence, it just quieted the fear long enough for me to show up.
But borrowed confidence doesn’t last.
What replaced it wasn’t motivation or mindset, it was competence.
As my skills improved, the fear faded.
As repetition increased, hesitation decreased.
As familiarity grew, confidence followed.
Not overnight. Gradually.
I knew the environment.
I knew the people.
I knew I could get the shot.
I stopped walking in quietly and started walking in with purpose.
Borrowed confidence gets you started.
Skill is what keeps you going.
When Identity Started to Shift
Even then, I didn’t fully see myself as a “real photographer.”
I was confident in my ability, but the work lived mostly in nightlife. It wasn’t until I transitioned into studio portraits that something clicked. When people hired me intentionally. When the party wasn’t the context. When the work stood on its own.
That’s when I realized this wasn’t just something I did.
It was something I could build.
And that’s when the roles fully switched.
The Role Reversal
Suddenly, I was the confident one in the room.
I was working with people who were insecure about how they looked, how they dressed, or what the camera might reveal. I became the one reassuring them. Guiding them. Pulling confidence out of them.
The same thing I once lacked, I was now helping others access.
Not because I became fearless.
But because I became practiced.
The Lesson I Didn’t Know Back Then
I thought confidence was something you needed before you started.
It’s not.
Confidence is what shows up after you move, after you learn, after you TAKE ACTION!
Action came first.
Identity followed.
That’s the part no one tells you.
So if you in a place where you lack confidence to put yourself out there, to share your work publically, or to simply just begin...
Just know the more action you take more confident you'll become. You don't wan't to spend your life wondering "what if".
Welcome to Creator Currency.
— Christopher Pollard
P.s. Next week look out for part 2 "Being Busy VS Building A Business".
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